Muselisation

Since the day I completed my uni course and graduated with my bachelor, the question of "Why did I choose to study this???" keeps running across my mind constantly. Despite the amount of hard work I put in and the excellent results that I had obtained during my uni days, it still could not stop me from having the thought. It especially does not help at all when my parents constantly question me about my choice of course. So much for these disagreeing that only came after I have completed the entire course. As such, the guiltiness and regrets I have continues as the years gone by.
***Frankly speaking, since young I was never an academic student. As a kid, I had always love to deal with handy crafts, drawings and even Design & Technology stuffs in sec sch. However, the result that I had score in Uni was pretty impressive, especially to myself, for the fact that, these are all English theory modules that we are talking here.***

Recently, I met this man, or should I call him a wise man? Anyway, this person here reassure me that, in the first place I did not choose the wrong course when furthering studies at the university. Secondly, instead of thinking that I had made the wrong choice, I should just continue practicing what I had learned.
"WHY is not the word that you should use to question yourself. You should stop asking yourself WHY WHY WHY."
"Writing is also a way of displaying your talent in terms of creativity. Someday you will come to realize what is the genre that you enjoy writing and from there you may begin contributing."
"Continue writing and keep your articles, do not publish it immediately. Someday down the road, take out the article and read it again, trust me, there will definitely be a lot of changes that you will want to make to it. Do this a few round..... and you will see your success."
Taking the man's encouraging words with me, I will probably have to try to see things from another perspective?

Just this morning, as I was checking up on my yahoo's email account, it is the email that I never pay attention to and its always flooded.
To my surprise, one of the email was actually about someone commenting on one of my blog entry that was log in some 3 years ago, Memoir Of Harry Tan.
Seriously, back then when I was blogging this entry, I did not expect anyone will be interested or want to comment about anything. 3 years down the road, apparently, this post had caught the attention of a few. **Then again, maybe its Harry that they are attracted to, lol** Nevertheless, while reading the post again, it really amazes me as to how I could still relate the feeling.

It is really fun digging out and reading the stuffs that you used to write, be it school assignment articles or emotional letter for the so and so. Maybe I should start to do some compilation work for my past years writing and who knows I may be able to find something interesting from it.

Just a few weeks back, a close friend receive news about company is gonna sponsor her to further her studies. Seriously, with terms like that, who is not happy about it. Then again just today, she was telling me about how worried she is, in terms of the depth of her knowledge as well as her professional experience. So I gave her a golden words of advise that I hope will help her and maybe other people that are around me:

Do not whine about the PAST
Do not worried about the FUTURE
Just enjoy the PRESENT...

Think it through, when we were back in the primary school days, don't we always whine about how stupid this teacher is and how lousy that principle is. All we were looking forward to, was just the secondary school that we will be promoted to.
Then again when we were in secondary school, we started arguing with my English teacher about why she should not penalize us for such small mistakes. Thinking back at how nice the primary school teacher was, she would have just warn me and give me the mark still. Cursing and swearing at the syllabus that MOE had came up with, thinking that if only all the syllabus are as easy as it was in primary school.
The same thing goes on and on even through the JC days, the Poly days and even the Uni days.

If you realize, these opportunities only come by once. Think back and you will realize, the type of experience that you go through at the different stages of your life is different.

Someday, you may graduate from a university with a Bachelor Degree, and after working for a few years, you decided that you wish to further your knowledge and so you went on to Masters Program. Even if you get back to the same school, being monitored by the same mentor. Trust me, the experience that you are going through will no longer be the same as the one you had.

So instead of whining and worrying, why not just appreciate the process. Who knows, you may in turn see things that you could not have seen.