Muselisation

As a matter of fact, as I age (*Not that I'm like very old now*), I start learning to appreciate the people and things that are happening around me.

For instance, this year's LNY has definitely been a rather meaningful and exciting one for me. Just over the weekends, I have got like 3 close friends, who were away from the red dot for a relatively long period of time, took turns flying back. Though I was not physically there to receive these friends at the airport, but the moment I received SMSes from these people, I was like jumping for joy that, they are back safely and finally. With the returns, it also mark that LNY is just like one week away.

It has seriously been a long while since I was last so excited about the arrival of the LNY.

祝大家新年快乐, 万事如意, 一帆风顺, 身体健康.

I've come to realize that, traveling alone was not as easy as I thought it was, especially in terms of situations that arise at the last minute that at times could make you feel helpless.

While doing my transit at Detroit, my flight was first being delayed for two hours due to bad weather. After almost about 20 hours of flight from Singapore to Detroit and five hours of waiting, the last thing that I would wish for it to happened occurs, my flight has been canceled. It was the final transit that I had to do before arriving at the land of Maple Leaves. The best friend and her guy friend were both anxiously waiting for me at the Toronto Pearson Airport, and we were only 45mins away from each other.

Given the same situation like this to happen in Singapore, I guess I would have already dash to the counter and F the person upside down. Then again, I had to calm myself down and realize that, there's nothing neither them nor myself could do about it. And all I want at this very instant moment was to book myself for the next earliest flight available.

In the end, I had to wait for an additional eights hours, on top of the 12 hours that I had spent waiting for my flight as well as all the happenings with regard to the flight delay and cancellation.

When I got back to Singapore, my grandma and mother was scare stiff at what had happened, and some of my friends were questioning me about why such drama stuffs always happens to me. She even commented that, she thought situation like this only happens in movie. Pardon me, I really have no idea about it too.

Then again, on the other hand, as the buddy said. This is in fact a good test being put for me, to see how much I had grown up and how well my situation handling skills are. Comparatively to what happened in Australia, I reckoned I really do see the difference in myself.

Being the first post of the year, I am so going to make it an auspicious one.

Ditching away all the emotional stuffs and sad stories into the snow outside and to be covered by more snows that are still making its way down.

Wish everyone out there, a prosperous New Year and for Melissa & Matt, Happy Marriage, please have Baby soon!!!! And as for Andass & Wanning, I'll rush back for your wedding, and please do not tired yourself out!!!

For the rest of the people...

AY: Please have a BF soon!!! To stop us from being too lesbian, either one of us have to be attached, and looking at the situation now, I think your chances are greater than mine! So 加油!!!

Dar & TM: Another year is passing by secretly, so please stop telling us 3 more years to your wedding... We have been hearing this 3 years thing for like the past 3 years, you guys should start counting down to it.

KY: I'll see you back in Singapore~!!! With AY, gonna be attached soon, I hope you find yourself a gf soon too! So that you would not be too bored without AY. Of course, not forgetting HUAT AH~!!!!

Turtle: Just when are you coming back to Singapore??? While enjoying yourself in the land of Chinese, please do not forget that your dear friend here and your family are all missing you...

Earlier on was just talking to a neighbor at the office about diving... Something that seems so 10 years ago.

I first got my open water when I was 17 years old, right after I finished my O levels. Back then it seems to cool, being one of the first and youngest diver among the friends. At those days, without fail, weekends are delicate to diving trips off to islands around Singapore. Being young and a big noob, all I could do was to follow my father everywhere he goes, since I don't have to pay for anything anyway.

Thanks to my father, at the age of 18, I already owned full set of diving equipments from head to toe. I must say, those were really Rolls Roy series, among the diving equipments. The only thing was that, there were no photos taken back then, due to the fact that, digital cameras were still non-existence. Therefore, all the memories about those days could only come from my very own in-built hard disk up in my head.

However, what happened then remains then. It's been almost 10 years since I last did a dive, although in between I did do my refreshers for dive attempts, but in a way or another, those dives just didn't happen.

I remember back then I was telling my father, I should work hard on getting my class 3 license, so that we can get a Kangoo and load the diving stuff into the car. Which somehow I feel is so cool too... Hahaha... I guess, when we were young, we try and do things base on if we think its a cool or not. Which, the car did really happen. My dad bought the Kangoo as soon as I got my class 3, even without going for a test drive! But ferrying the diving gears around, never happened! Not even once for the last 5 years.

At the age of, coming to 25 soon, I guess its time that I should stop waiting for my father and get myself involved in diving trips once again. The neighbor had in fact just invited me to join her for a dive in Tioman this coming April. I'm so looking forward to it, hopefully I will be able to take more photos during that trip.

A simple note for you... to remind you of your own existence...

Ever caught in a situation:
"As you and your group of friends were out, when it comes to time to make decision, everyone starts being wishy washy and the word "anything" seems to come in handy at this very moment. Eventually someone just had to be the hero deciding on where to eat, what movie to watch, etc. Well, the thing here is when the outcome is receptive by the entire group, no one seems to appreciate the hero act of this person. On the other hand, when the outcome turns out to be negative, inevitably the hero starts feeling guilty out of the blue. People start pointing finger behind hero's back about the super duper lousy choice that he/she had made."

Many times, when encountering situations like this, I can't help but wonder, "Are we really that nice and easy-going as a person or are we simply trying to avoid bearing the consequences of the choice that we had made?"
Taking myself for instance, I have to admit that I used to be in the "anything" group most of the time, especially when it comes to meeting friends whom I only see like once or twice a year. Reason being? Well, it was simply for the reason that I only met these people once or twice a year, with regards to the type of things they like, I am totally clueless about it. So, instead of pleasing someone, and at the same time making someone unhappy, might as well just say "anything" and throw the ball to another person's court.

At the age of 25, I finally grew up to have my own opinions on things that are happening and learn that, "sometime someone just have to be the hero, even though heroes die young."

(**Suddenly wondering what had happened to me over the past 24 years of my life, leaving others to decided my life for me...**)

Then again, here comes the other side of life when you decided that you should not be so wishy washy, instead be firm and decisive! You start being sensitive and cautious on others' reaction about the decision you made. No matter how many million times you told yourself, "you can't always please everyone, just go with the majority, " you can't help but still feel the need to please everyone and when you realize that one person, out of the rest of the ten, is not enjoying, you will start feeling bad and guilty. From time to time, you even start having doubts on the choice and decision you have made on behalf of others.

Say that I am sensitive, but somehow, many times, I do kind of felt that people are talking behind my back or pointing finger at me when I take on the role as the decisive one. Then again you may be wondering just how accurate my level of sensitivity is? Well, at least I am quite sure my sensitive-ness hits the bull eye at least 80% - 85% most of the time. (**Sometime, I am amazed at the accurateness of my "sixth-sense"**)

Seriously, why do human function in this manner? Or is it only us the Chinese, or even the Singaporean that is functioning like that???

You only live your life once, you have the right to choose the way how you want your life to be. Should you always be looking back and thinking, "this this this and that could have better result if i thought about this." Then you are seriously going to spend your whole life regretting about the decisions that you have made...

Jill Mansell had always been my favorite writer, come to think about it, it's been a few years since I started reading her book back in uni days.

As the saying always goes, "One man's meat is another man's poison." I guess not many friends around me appreciate this sort of scandalous novel as much as I do. Nonetheless, I believe there are many more others out there who are just as scandally in love with Jill's novel.

Anyway, in this most recent book of hers "Rumour Has it", I do see a little of change from her past novels. The magnetic force about her books that keeps you going back to her are definitely the kinky stories and how she was able to fill you in with the bit of kinky details yet pulling the apple an inch away from just as you were about to get it. However, in this new book of her, she added a bit more emotions to it. This morning as I was reading chapter 47 on the bus, I was on the verge of tearing when reading about how Stella, one of the quite irritating character in the book, pass away. Seriously, it's been quite a long while since I had read a book that made me tear over for. This book definitely have got some substance there...

I have always remember, the first ever book that I was able to complete reading without having my mother to scream her head off me was "Red Sky in the Morning". That was my literature book in sec 1. Can't really remember who the author was, but trust me, out of the 4 times that I had read this book, not a single time I never shed a tear when Ben died. Maybe I should try reading it for the 5th time and see how things goes...