Muselisation

To me sometime i feel that having a bf who is not IT savvy is quite an advantage to a certain extend.

Well, first of all at least he will not come here to my blog and see what I have to say, which means I basically can complain about everything about him here. Then again, some might say "you don't need one to be an IT savvy person to come and read your blog, do you." Well that's quite true though, so probably once again it goes back to him as a person who totally have no interest in this sort of stuff and I am quite sure he find blogging stuffs "boh liao". Then again, he is my bf Wyne Ho and not any other normal guy who is on the street.

Another advantage about having a bf who is not IT savvy is probably at least there is an area in this world where I can pin him down. Hey come on this not some SM stuffs, but seriously having a bf like him who basically know pretty much stuffs can be quite an irony from time to time. E.g. there are time where they are certain things which I have been practicing for a long long time, and when he come to learn about it he would probably drop some comment. He being one person who possess a sharp tongue and convincing talking manner by nature, many times never fail to make me doubt my action. So, when the time comes for me to prove my self better in other areas better than him make me feel overwhelm.
I know this sound like a weird relationship, and he probably do not feel it this way. Well, I guess that is just me, everywhere I go and everything I do I never fail to stir the people around me to make ma feel competitive.

Was having a little argument with Wyne earlier on, these little arguments have been getting pretty frequent lately. I have to admit most of the time I am the one who set the forest fire when there were only little sparks. This is probably due to me having too much time which result in me finding trouble with him.

I always tell him, "you don't love me," because very very seldom he will actually take the initiative to say "I Love You" to me or even do something very sweet things for me that will give me a surprise. This bf of mine here is basically someone who is not very romantic, the fact that I have to keep reminding him about the arrival of my birthday and our anniversary regardless of the number of times that I told him before tells it all.

Then again back to those days when I was single, when someone ask me "What kind of guy are you looking for?" My answer never fail to have this "Someone who can stand my temper." I must say I have dated many guys before and someone once told me, "you are an angle on a normal day, but when you are angry you become a scary monster." All along I know I have this severe EQ problem, I tried to correct myself but every time once I am attach, all these virus comes back to me like flu. And it is this very guy, whom until today (coming to a year) is able to tolerate and accept all my bad temper, mood swing and emo days. Just now he finally woke me up when he said, "Do you still dare to say that 'I don't love you' or 'I hate you' when I always have to be the one to 'hong' and say sorry to you no matter I'm at fault or not."

My secondary school's motto "Facta-non-verba" simply means "Deeds not words". His action have loudly say to me that he loves me just that I don't see it. It must be really very blind of me to have miss that. Another person also once told me, "Him being there supporting you financially every month when you meet tight ends, isn't already doing something very sweet for you? Every bf do different sweet action for their gf. For a practical person like Wyne, his sweet action are on those practical stuffs that he do for you and not on those lovey dovey fairy tale stuffs." OMG how true is that, and how much time have I taken to finally realise it.

So dear Psychology friends, please deduce my problem and help dealt with it. I don't blame the cause of all this on my family, although I strongly believe it has got to do with what was going on at home since young. I never fail to appear as a person who is glowing with confidence, however, deep down in me there is this inferiority in me that not many people has unveil, even my close friends. This inferiority is mainly caused by the situation at home, but I shall not elaborate on it. Then again solving this very problem of mine, lies in my very own hand.

Haiz... Keryn.... Keryn... Keryn...

This year for my birthday I had a simple affair, celebrating it with only a few close friends at ECP. We had a small bbq at one of the pavilion not knowing if we will get caught by anyone or not. Heck about what's gonna come we still continue with our little celebration.
Still tired from all the photo taking at Taiwan the MJ gang have shun themselves away from cameras.




Cake from Wyne...


Cookies from Mj gang, first time in my life every had someone baking cookie with me.
The thing was instead of vegetable oil, they actually use vegetable oil with garlic... But it still taste nice~!


Another big present from the Mj gang, a brownie cake.
After this birthday, I think the 3 of them, Daric, Tze and AY can jolly well go be biz partners and open one desert shop.



Other two presents that I got from my two very very best friend and buddy

AY's card is super funny la, but I can't show the inside if not Wyne will murder her for good. And till today I still cant bear to eat that Fairy Lollipop.



And Bryan's card and pressie came a few days after my bday, even though it was still greatly appreciated. I got a teddy bear to hang on my phone last year and this year I got another solid bear. Hahaha... Maybe I'm still the little girl in his heart, Lol~!

Was reading the news about the 5 dragon boaters who gave their live to their passion last week.
Emotions ran across as I was reading the article.

A few years ago, when a friend's friend committed suicide because of a breakup with his girlfriend, it tremble the family and friends terribly. Being the only child in the family the parents only have one another to support on after the death of their son. The father being a novel writer told me friend, "You know in a novel the most beautiful ending is when you are willing to die for your love one, and now my son gave a beautiful ending to his life."

Doing well in a sport requires plenty of passion into it, what's more when you have to fight your way into the national team. For a sportsman nothing has more priority than your love. To me ending your life because of your passion is a beautiful ending for all sportsman.

My condolence to the family and friends of the 5 great ones. Though they are no longer by your side now, but please be happy for them that they die in the arm of their love one.

Receive my result at 20:09:20

Screen Theory - Credit
Journ Ethics - Distinction
Journ Research - PGO
Sociology of Deviance - Credit

With the above, I am officially a GRADUATE!!!!!
Gosh~!!! The result were better than I have predicted!!!! What a big relief

Exam is over and the very next best thing that I was looking forward to was my graduation trip to Taiwan with the MJ gang.
This time round we had 4 suspects, Daric (gang leader), Tze Min (administrator), AY (photographer) and myself (forgot my post, Haha~!)
While we were there, we basically spend all our time and money on food and clothes. Of course we did do some sight seeing as well. The weather was really good, wind and rain were great experience~!
Picture speaks a million words, so I should just shut up and flood you guys with plenty of nice nice photos instead... So sit back and enjoy~!

The four main suspects

Under my umbrella~!!







Take a look at the amount of food we have taken~! These are only some of those that we have taken, there are many others which we didn't take photo of.

@ 寺林夜市



The gigantic Tako Pachi


The fruit store that we spend NT400 solely on fruits




臭豆腐， 真的很臭。And you can smell them from miles, wonder how other shop vendors take the smell.

Fried egg oyster


Beef steak with egg and pasta. The lady vendor actually remember us when we went back for our 2nd round of beef steak.


I seldom take peanuts, but trust me I almost finish the cup of peanut ice.


Always see this on TV, didn't know it tasted a bit sour. All along I thought it should be something that is very sweet.


The spiral chips, and know what it was all done from one potato. Amazing huh!


Fried mushroom, really very nice~!




Famous 阿宗面线 @ 西门丁: But seriously it was not as tasty as we thought it will be.


Some fry crab by the roadside store. If you are thinking that it's soft shell crab, AY thought so too and was conned into buying it to try, haha~!




Tze and I was trying to be playful to get the ice cream, but trust me after this picture we were not as cool... The wind was blowing so strongly that we can't even walk properly.


Famous 啊給 at 淡水


We weather through the rain and wind in search of the 周杰伦套餐.

We were suppose to make our way from one place to another, and we actually went the wrong way. However, we came across this road side store that sells very nice 水饺 and 锅贴.





粉圆豆花


Awfully sinful cake at Starbucks


The beautiful desert at 唐朝

There were just too many food that we have consume, too many to show them all... Let us proceed to other photos bah haha...


摩天轮 @ Miramar - But it do look kinda mysterious with the green color lighting


This is where we will always gather every night before we turn in


Candid shots of the three


Water bomb dart board


老夫子


Some nostalgic picture






I don't want to go home~!!! 依依不舍

Ok I'm too tired from all the uploading of photos, there's really too many I will continue with the uploading another day hehe~!

As I grew older I realise human can be quite a scary animal. Irregardless of the amount of time you have known one another, people still lie to you. Despite you pouring your true feelings to them they still disappoint you with lie many times. This is the ugly fact about human that until today I still find it hard to accept.
2 years ago I learn through a painful lesson that never to believe anyone so readily and easily again, but things still happen and mistakes still take place. Am I too naive or plain stupid? It really make me feel very scare about how these people can paint a million dollars worth painting on one side to you, while shits are all over the place on the other side of the painting.
Well, for those who are concern, I'm not talking about Wyne rest assure. But rather some friends whom I had known for years, and while they slowly revealing layers of their skin, do I realise that there were hidden lies.
Not like I don't lie, I do, but when I felt that someone is sincerely talking to me about his/her life, likewise I will want the person to feel my sincerity as well. Am I not being sincere enough that they have to lie to me, or is just to gain something from me?
Gosh~! The more I think about it, the more I think that it's very very scary about how people can lie just like that...

雨过就会天晴了

考完式的心情十分好
虽然这不是第一期考完式
但这却是我的毕业考

忙忙碌碌的两年半，一转眼就过去了
虽然过得很冲忙，但却很充实

反而是考完后的空闲时间不知要做什么
不过还好，这星期五就要和另外3位朋友一起到台湾去旅行
已经有好一段日子都没出国了
真得很期待星期五的到来

旅行回来又得开始找工作
踏入人生的另一段旅途了

***When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother, what will I be
Will I be pretty, will I be rich
Here's what she said to me.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

When I was young, I fell in love
I asked my sweetheart what lies ahead
Will we have rainbows, day after day
Here's what my sweetheart said.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.

Now I have children of my own
They ask their mother, what will I be
Will I be handsome, will I be rich
I tell them tenderly.

Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours, to see
Que Sera, Sera
What will be, will be.***

Finally the long awaiten has arrive. Two and a half years ago, started this long journey aimlessly, it has been quite a fulfilling and fruitful time these while. Took my last paper of the last sem of my last year on Thursday, Hahaha long winded huh! But I just can't help but to wanna share this very "Last" moment with everyone.

This time round the exam was quite tough, but manage to pull it through and there are so many people that I have to thank for helping me pull through this period.

Journ Ethic: I have to thanks Mel and Ashari for pulling me out to study with them and drill all the theories into my head.

Screen Theories: I have to admit that I only attend one class for this module and thats it, so there wasnt much things that I know about it. But thanks to Adley, PPJ and Daniel. If not for them, I would not have been able to take this paper comfortably.

Sociology of Deviance: A BIG BIG THANK YOU to Apple. If not for her, I guess I will have to resit for the same module again next year. I had my Comms paper 2 days before this paper, and being good at neither module I have to focus very much on Comms which left me with not much time to study for my soci paper, let alone doing all the notes. Apple is so so so nice of her to share her notes with me. Gosh~! It's beyond the vocabularies available in the dictionary to describe how grateful I feel.

Of course, not forgetting the 3 most important people, Sheila, Harry and Manuelita. Sheila never fail to be my top favourite lecturer, always there to give me advise in every area even when the module is not under her. Harry, who claims he is no Harry Potter because he cant's spot exam question, help us a lot in understanding the different concepts in module, using super lame examples to drill the different concepts into our head. Finally, Manuelita, although I only attended one class, but she was so willing to email me the exam pointers when I ask for it. I think she barely have any impression about my existence but it was so nice of her to still email me the pointers.

Finally the exam is over, feeling a bit quite lost because previously I was so focus on studying, but guess I'll be fine in a few days time. Hehe....

As my father plant for me

So do I plant for my child...

Last Friday was the due date for my research essay (last assignment), it is also the last day of my uni life. It seem like it was only yesterday that I went for my first News Feature Writing class and today it's the last Journ Ethic class that I'm attending.

Two and half years went by just like that, without leaving much trace of it. But on a deeper look, many things have change these years.

Tze was asking me "so did you take photo of your school?"
And the sad was, "I didn't! But I did take photo with Melissa and my lecturer."
Tze: "So did you take photo of all the classes that you have use before?"
Me: "No~!"

The thing is, though I'm studying full time, but there is no attachment to the school at all. Instead, it's the classmates and lecturers that I think I will miss most. Especially Sheila and Harry. Class will never be so fun and fulfilling without these two lecturers. Basically these are the only two lecturers that I attended their classes in year 2 & 3.

Sheila is my journ lecturer, she is also the motivator in class who never fail to motivate and encourage us to strive towards our HD!!!! On every first, she will always foresee all of us scoring HD at the end of the course. This is the faith that she always have on us.

As for Harry, he is one soci lectuere whose class is definitely interesting because him as a person. Soci can be quite a boring module from time to time, but it's all the jokes and silly self that make the class a bearable one.

A million thanks to these two lecturers who play such a big role in my uni life.
Sheila and Harry, I love you two~!!!!!

Sadly, this time round I didnt get to snap a shot of Harry. But I did manage to get a photo with Sheila.

Soon, my exam will be coming up next. First paper is on the 30th Oct, bless me with lucks to get pass the semester successfully. :-)

It's sad to learn that your bf doesn't click with your closest best friends.
It's even more sad to learn to accept this fact.
It's even sadder when you have to make a choice btwn them.
But fair enough I was not asked to make a choice btwn them.
I was only asked if I could survive in two terrain.
Still, I find it so difficult to answer this question.
I love my bf very much.
I love my best friends too.
In the past when I was attach, I tend to spend lesser time with my friends.
However, after the break up it was this group of people who stand by me.
From then I told myself I will never repeat the same mistake.
And I will never neglect this group of friends.
I am willing to give up a relationship for my friends.
BUT, it's easier to say than to do it.
Especially, when it's someone you found yourself to have love so much.
For the past few month I tried to juggle btwn my friends and bf.
By doing so I try to let my bf mix with my closest friends.
But 8 mnths into the relationship, things proof my doing all wrong.
My job as a journalist is to try my best to make fair, accurate and balance reporting.
Now I guess, outside school I will also have to learn to be fair and balance my life.
Argh~! Bring work to daily life... KNS....

For females
Number of As x 15 points =
Number of Bs x 5 points =
Number of Cs x -5 points =
Total points =

病了好几天，
有天趁着有力至于，
便上网看看有什么有趣的事。
不易总就游到了欧菁仙的 blog。
Blog 里的内容都是用华文，
又再次勾起了我身体里的花纹细胞。
所以决定今天要有华文来表达我最近的烦恼。

寻寻觅觅，兜兜转转。
原以为找到了他，
但这并不是结剧。
开始时一切都好。
当相处久了，事情就并非如此了。
所谓想见容易相处难。
虽然如此， 但一切都非无药可救。
开始看到努力的成果，
但一波未平一波又起。
原本看起来很完美的一切，
就只应我在不知情下偷漏了些事，
搞到自己坐立难案。

我常说的：“生活的节奏就有如兼则心跳的磁材，心跳与生活比尤起有落。但如果一切都变得平息的话就好像心跳停止了”。

也许真的被我说中了吧！

I remember back in my poly days, Walter will always come to me and say "Eh Keryn, Ah Wee 跟我都觉得你长得很像 Fiona Xie leh."

My reply never fails to be, "Eh 不要乱乱讲，不要丢她的脸!!" Although, inside my heart I am feeling happy. Most of the time I think it's rather funny when Walter is the one who came up to me to say things like that.

Then he will say, "真的真的，eh Ah Wee 都这样觉得 leh. 你是我们 SPCT 的 Fiona Xie lo..."

Subsequently, I have people such as Audrey and Iris coming up to me to say the same thing. Of course there are other people who think otherwise.

So what do you think?

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves. You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't? You want to be with someone who's a success. A person with the right job, right family, right clothes... In fights, you seek compromise and back down from conflict. You always try to smooth things out. Getting over a break-up doesn't take long. Easy come, easy go.

This is above survey is about 75% true for my case... Hehehe~!

Finally stepping into the entrance of my fifth semester, which is also my last semester. Like I have always say, "I will be graduating end of the year, IF nothing goes wrong..." So much for graduating soon, but the feeling that I have is totally different from what I use to had when I was in poly. The feeling that I had now is no different from the past 4 semesters, but am sure that it is definitely better than the last semester. There were no sense of excitement or anxiousness (if there is such a word). I am clueless about how the others are feeling, hmp... maybe one day I should find a chance to asked the rest. Not that we are suppose to feel something for the last semester, but I sort of expect that I would have been a different mode. But so much for all the expecting, nothing turn up eventually. Probably it will come near to the end of the semester.

Recalling my days at poly, I remembered during my final year the SP, Lina and I were both so afraid that we may not be able to make it through. So the both of use decided that we should work hard, and we both really studied very hard and help one another a lot. This is just to ensure that we will both make it through together. Later on, our three darlings came on and joined us in the "Work hard drive" and help us quite a lot too. Those were the days where bonded us as very close and good friends. Now, every time when I think back I realise I really miss those days and these people very much. It's a pity that everyone is so busy with their life now, and we could hardly meet up. Really hope that one day we can all meet up again, and have a good time catching up with one another's life.

Back to doing trails again. Did my first trail on Tuesday, it was to the Zoo with the Kong Hwa kids. The first day was rather chaotic, it's probably due to the lost feel in the job. But am glad that manage to get the feel back. Things got slightly better the next day, and of course things got even better these two days.

Was at the Esplanade with the Primary 3 kids of Kong Hwa today, there was this kid in my class today who is hyper active. I suppose its quite a serious case of hyper active, because he is on medication, which I think its really poor thing. When we first took over the class from the form teacher, the little boy totally ignore us. When my partner and I attempt to talk to him, he just turn away and don't listen to us. We felt quite troubled about it. Looking at the situation and the fact that I just came back to the job, my partner offered to take charge of the group that the hyper active boy is in. My partner must really be having a hard time during the trail. After the trail I tried talking to the boy by asking him whether or not do he enjoy himself at the trail. He just shake his head and ran off. But what happen next was so unexpected.

After arriving at the school, the children alight from the bus orderly and head back to the classroom. As we were walking, the hyper active boy came up to me and started talking to me.

Student: I don't enjoy myself today.
Me: Why? Why you don't enjoy yourself today? (I put my hand over his shoulder and guide to start walking and talk at the same time)
Student: I got bring money, but I cannot buy the chocolate..... (Referring to the chocolate at Chocz, and he was looking so disappointed)
Me: Hmp.... I got the strawberry chocolate in bag do you want???? (Strawberry coated with chocolate from chocz)
Student: YES YES!! (The boy started smiling and clapping his hand)
Me: So are you a good boy today??
Student: Yes! (Knocking his head vigorously)

So I took out the bag of strawberry and handed one to him. He kept saying thank you to me even before I handed him the strawberry. After getting the strawberry, he said thank you once again and ran off to his form teacher to show him what he got. After which, he came running back to me and say thank you again before running off.

Eventually, I think that he is quite a cute boy. Well, I think patience is all it take to handle this boy. I really salute his form teacher who has so much patience over the past few months. The class is in our care for only a few hours and this is nothing compared to the teacher who in charge for the past few months. The teacher was telling us that the boy never fail to challenge him.

Coming back to the job make me realise that I really do kinda like the job pretty much, but taking it as a full time job is definitely out of the question...

Ever done something and makes you regret, even until now?

How many times in life do we do something that make us regret for life, because it changes the way our life should have been.

A mistake was made months back, one mistake that there is no chance for a u-turn.

Months later, did I realise that the mistake has resulted as a life long lesson to myself.

Not only has the mistake causes many troubles to myself and people around, but also change me very much.

Realising that I have committed a mistake that is beyond salvage, yet do not have the courage to admit it.

Keeping something to yourself is like having a big boulder pinning you down. The feeling is neither here nor there.

No matter how hard I try to lift the boulder up, it just does not move.

The girl who once stand as the statue of confidence has disappear.

What is the left is only a shell with an empty inside.

Sometime I felt, this is how scary things are. A small mistake committed can actually lead to an end result which not only affect the current situation, but affect you for a long long time.

Class 95 - Forever by Damage (Another childhood pop that brings me back to my pri sch days...)

Thinking about it, its been almost a year since the first time I went to KL with other 4 TMC kidz... Just what happen to us over that last one year???

Well, it's obvious that XD is in Australia now (well well... I'm suppoes to be there too), am really missing her quite badly over here. But she's coming back for a short holiday this coming July, am really looking forward to her return. As for Apple, havent seen her since the last time we met at Mel grandpa's wake, even so didnt speak much to her. The last time I had more conversation would probably be the last time I attend Madiana's soci class... Yah, yet to really hear from her since then as whatever follows were merely school related stuffs. But nothing is worse than Joel and Jasper, I totally never hear anything from both of them. Now that we no longer have same classes together and our class schedule no longer coincide, it definitely number down our chances of bumping into one another. The last time I seen PPJ was the day after I came back from Aussie and as for Jasper would probably be the Zenitant's "gathering".

Come to think about it, really misses these people and the fun we had at KL. Like I once said, this group of people id definitely one of those companions you would wish to have while travelling.

While this semester coming to an end soon, it also mark the final school holiday that PPJ will get to enjoy before he commence the next chapter of life. And this time round, we definitely not going anywhere for holiday together. But hopefully we will soon have the chance to do something like that again.... Hehehehe....

Class 95 - Say you love me by Simply Red (Another nice song for the day to end nicely)

Class 95 - Swept Away by Christopher Cross

***It's just another quiet night, sitting at the living room enjoying my music and some thoughts just swept across my mind. Haven't had much chance to do this lately, do kind of miss this sort of time where I can be with myself.***

Remember your ambition when you were young?? Sitting at the small square top table thinking about what you will be when you grow up. Since young we have been told that, we should study hard so that we can be lawyer and doctor one day when we grew up. However, it's only when we grow that we realise things does not come just as easy as we thought it will be. What once to be our ambition when we were, may not longer the one there for us anymore.

Was telling AY, when I was young I hope to grow up soon so that I can fulfill my dream about being an air stewardess. However, as I grow older, I realise this dream is no longer applicable to me. For those who are close to me, or even those who have seen me before knows exactly where this problem lies. Hahaha, I fail at the first immediate requirement and that is I'm not tall enough. Standing at only 148 cm, I'm like 10 cm away from the minimum requirement. Why am I so keen about being an air stewardess?? Well, though not a very prestigious job but I like the idea or being able to travel while working. This job is your passport to the world outside this small island. Not that I don't wish to stay here but I just love to travel. Then again come the question from AY, "Since then, you can always find another job that allows you to travel or something that you get relatively well earning and travel on your own?" Well true to a certain extend, that is why I have no idea how to answer her. But I just felt that the feeling is probably different. Being on a business trip is a totally different type of feeling, I have seen ex colleagues travelling to places like Hong Kong and some other countries for business trip. Which is something we pretty much envy about, but the thing we don't know is that, they do not have much personal time when they were there. Schedules were pretty tight so they have to attend one meeting after next and follow by meals with different people. I bet they definitely do not enjoy this sort of travel.

Ever sit down and think about what you aspire to be when you were young?? Are your dreams fulfilled already??

Here is another nice song on Class 95 by Collin Raye - Love, Me

Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)

Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.

It's been a few weeks since I have last drop a few words here. Been rather busy lately, current semester coming to an end soon so have been trying to finish all my assignments. My exam commence on the 12th of June, which is about 3 weeks time. Not really prepare for the first paper yet though but will try to work hard and make sure I pass everything. It's the final year already, really don't want anything to go wrong.

Things haven't been going really well, but am glad to have my best friends and love one by my side. Really feel bad vending anger and throwing tantrum at him whenever I am down. But am really glad that he is always the understanding and optimistic one who is there to cheer me up all the time.

The advantage of being an undergrad is that, you get to go to places like Sentosa on weekdays and when the secondary school kids are having exam. Was at the beach enjoying the sun and guess what, we found some crabs along the beach....